Good-bye to 2025

As has become normal, I delay sending out Christmas cards—actually ecards nowadays—until just before New Years. And usually I recap the cruises and other adventures Mary Ellen and I enjoyed over the past year. But 2025 turned out to be more of a stay‑at‑home season for us.

Two years ago, we discovered a crack in the shower floor of our master bathroom. Insurance didn’t cover the repairs, and we didn’t get around to addressing the issue until early this year. After talking with our contractor, we decided to remodel the shower entirely and install a toilet with an electronic lid. (If you’ve seen No Time for Sergeants, you know the vibe.) As these things go, the project took time, and although we now have a beautiful new shower and a very polite toilet, a few finishing touches are still in progress.

Despite all that, Mary Ellen continued her studio‑teaching work on several films, including two with crews she has collaborated with several times. She also frequently substituted at a special‑education preschool.

We did manage a couple of short trips. In October, we drove to Las Vegas to see The Wizard of Oz at Sphere and stayed at the Venetian next door. In early December, we headed to Carson City, NV, to visit my brother Bob and my sister-in-law, Kathy. Pleasant as they were, neither trip rose to the level of our usual European escapades. We had planned a November visit to Disney World, but the federal government shutdown made us wary of getting stranded in Orlando, so we canceled our flights and hotel. Thankfully, everything was fully refunded.

At the same time, Mary Ellen was dealing with significant pain after a cracked rib threw her left hip out of alignment. Her orthopedist scheduled hip surgery for May, and she spent much of the following two months recovering on a lounge chair—supported by a nurse, a physical therapist, and, of course, the ever‑present bathroom remodelers.

Mary Ellen, Will, Ash, Selena, Bill, Megan, and Jacob wish you all the best for 2026.

A highlight of the year was the wonderful party our daughter, Selena, organized for Mary Ellen’s 80th birthday in September. Her gift to her mother (and to me) is a trip to North Dakota in spring 2026. Why North Dakota? Because it’s the only state Mary Ellen and I—either separately or together—have never visited.

As I’ve mentioned in past letters, I continue ghostwriting autobiographies for StoryTerrace. This year’s client was an 85‑year‑old immigrant from Germany. I’m also editing a series of business booklets for a CPA friend.

My long‑ago acting experience in high school and the Army finally resurfaced this year when one of Mary Ellen’s studio‑teacher employers asked me to play a demented old man in a bit part for the film The Call. (Contrary to what my enemies might claim, I am not actually demented—I just play one on screen.) It’s not a major motion picture, and we have no idea when or if it will be released, but it was great fun.

I also ran for—and won—a seat on our homeowners’ association board. It’s more work than I expected, but I enjoy collaborating with the other board members to improve our community. I remain active in a local photography club, and every other Sunday I livestream two of the Masses at our church on Facebook.

We managed to see several plays this year, including Once Upon a Mattress with Sutton Foster, Come from Away, Peter Pan Gone Wrong with Cathy Rigby, and One Man, Two Guvs.

We are blessed with a wonderful family. Our daughter, Selena, is a tax executive at the Walt Disney Company, and her husband, Jacob, is an IT guru for a production company. Their daughter, Megan, is now in sixth grade and nearly as tall as her mother. They live just a couple of miles away, so we see them often. Our son, Will, and his wife, Ash, live in Pittsburgh and visited us for several days this holiday season. Will is an assistant professor of political science at the University of Pittsburgh and produces a YouTube video podcast that now has almost 750,000 subscribers. (You can find it at https://www.youtube.com/@Gametheory101.) Ash consults for a business advisory firm that helps companies navigate bankruptcy.

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas and wish you every blessing in the New Year.

Traveling Through 2024

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Highlights for Mary Ellen and Bill this year were Will and Ash’s commitment ceremony in Pittsburgh and cruises up the Danube and through the fjords of Norway. And we helped our granddaughter, Megan, with her mission project, which most California fourth graders have to do. (We visited Mission San Juan Buenaventura.)

Mary Ellen and Bill with Vlad’s castle in background.

In late January, we drove to Paradise, California, for the funeral of Matthew Younger, the son of Mary Younger, one of Bill’s cousins. Matthew was only 29 years old. It was a bittersweet occasion as we were able to socialize with Bill’s Funk and Silvey cousins as well as Bill’s brother and sister-in-law, Bob and Kathy. Sadly, Kurt Gurney, husband of Bill’s cousin B.J., also died early this year.

We flew to Bucharest, Romania, in April and visited castles (including that of Vlad the Impaler) and experienced a Transylvanian dinner before boarding a Viking river ship to sail up the Danube to Vienna. The scenery was gorgeous, but we were exhausted by onshore tours every day. Among the outstanding sights: the Iron Gates (a series of gorges that separate Romania and Serbia) and the lights of Budapest at night. We also enjoyed a concert in Vienna and a strudel demonstration in Serbia.

Commitment in Pittsburgh

Ash and Will

We added a two-day extension to Prague, to which we were bused. On the way we stopped at a Czech village to stretch our legs. Bill fainted and fell on the cobblestone pavement. That resulted in a bloody nose. When we arrived in Prague, Bill taxied to a local hospital and had a CT scan, which revealed small fractures in his nose. Thankfully, the fractures were not disfiguring and eventually healed. Bill, however, missed out on some sightseeing in Prague (Mary Ellen went on a walking tour). Nevertheless, he and Mary Ellen had a good time at an evening show of Czech dancing at a restaurant.

The best part of the year had to be Will and Ash’s commitment ceremony in June. Along with our daughter, Selena, and granddaughter, Megan, we drove from Pittsburgh to Erie to visit with two of Bill’s DiLoreto cousins: Karen Whitford and Nancy Langowski. We also had lunch with Charmaine Mozlack, Bill’s first cousin once removed. We met several of Will and Ash’s friends at their reception and enjoyed conversing with Ash’s parents from India.

Norway’s Fjords

August saw us flying to London and then boarding a Celebrity ship for Norway’s fjords. We had rain and overcast skies for much of the trip, but we were still able to photograph some breathtaking falls cascading from towering cliffs. At the end of the cruise we returned to England for a walk around Stonehenge and then a jaunt through Bath. In London we strode across Tower Bridge and wandered about the Victoria and Albert Museum.

In October we stayed in a B&B in Cambria, California, to celebrate our 43rd anniversary. And Will and Ash spent the Christmas holidays with us.

All the Best to You

Selena, Will, Ash, Megan, Bill, Mary Ellen and Jake wish you all the best for 2025.

Although StoryTerrace lists Bill as one of its premium writers, he didn’t get an assignment to ghostwrite a biography this past year. He is, however, being considered for the biography of a cruise ship hotel manager beginning in January. (If you know of anyone interested in StoryTerrace’s biographical services, please refer them to Bill.) Nevertheless, Bill keeps active. He’s volunteered to be one of our church’s video producers, which means that every other Sunday he live streams the 10:30am and 12:15pm Masses on Facebook. He also is up for one of our HOA’s board positions. As there are five positions and only four nominees, Bill expects to be on the board beginning in January. Bill is also active with a local photography club.

In part because of the writer and actor strikes of 2023, Mary Ellen has only been hired for a few days his past year as a studio teacher. But since September, she has enjoyed working as a long-term substitute teacher for a local school district.

Selena is a Disney tax executive. Son-in-law Jacob is a film and music production company’s IT honcho. Their daughter, Megan, is in the fifth grade. Ash consults for a business advisory firm specializing in helping companies through bankruptcy. Our son, Will, is an assistant political science professor at the University of Pittsburgh and produces a YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@Gametheory101) with almost 700k subscribers.

We hope you had a Merry Christmas and wish you all the best for the new year.

—Bill & Mary Ellen Spaniel

A Dumpster Yields a Gem

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One of my most prized possessions is a small, well-worn book bound in faded blue cardboard. Four-inches wide by six-and-a-half inches tall, the book hides between more massive tomes in my shelves. Sometimes it takes me awhile to find it, but every Christmas I seek it out.

I’ve owned this book for more than 50 years. It has followed me from Colorado to Missouri to Michigan to Nevada (where my parents stored my possessions while I served for three-and-a-half years in the Army) to Georgia back to Nevada and then to California. The book itself is much older as it was published in 1899 and is the slightly revised version of the original, which was printed in 1895.

Dumpster diving

If memory serves, I found the book in a dumpster.

When I was in high school in Golden, Colorado, I worked part-time for the Jefferson County Library. In my junior year, I was a bookmobile assistant, riding county back roads to bring books to those living in small mountain communities. In my senior year I drove a station wagon and delivered books to various local libraries in the system.

Returning to the main library one summer day after completing deliveries, I learned from a librarian that they were getting rid of books no longer needed. If I wanted any, I could fish them out of the dumpster in the back.

I discovered two treasures: one was the second volume of the memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant, the second was the little book.

I’ve long lost the Grant book. I’ve no regrets, however, as it was the fourth or so printing and had no commercial value. And I never read Grant’s war chronicles until five years ago, and then I read the Kindle version of the complete memoirs.

But the little book immediately attracted me. Its title and author’s name are debossed on the cover in faux gold leaf. Stamped on the flyleaf in blue are the words “Property of The West Alameda Federated Club.” The same words appear on the back inside cover.

A black-and-white drawing facing the title page shows a young woman cradling an old, bearded man slumped against a wall. Then comes the title page with italic blue letters:

The Story of the Other Wise Man

By Henry van Dyke  

A Presbyterian minister and United States diplomat, Van Dyke (1852–1933) wrote stories and poems as well as the lyrics to “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee” set to “Ode to Joy” from Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. But his greatest legacy, in my opinion, is “The Other Wise Man”—at 73 pages a masterpiece.

Briefly Van Dyke’s tale relates how a fourth Magi planned to give three jewels to the child Jesus. Unfortunately, he just missed meeting the Holy Family (who were escaping to Egypt as Herod’s soldiers were descending on Bethlehem). He spent the rest of his life searching for the King. Finally, he saw the Savior on His way to Calvary and tried to save Him.

Van Dyke tinkered with the story over the years, making a few minor changes in wording. My copy is the second version, and I believe there is a third. To my knowledge, the second version is the only one that comes with a preface (see below), which is worth reading on its own.

Next to Luke’s and Matthew’s accounts of the birth of Christ and the visitors from the East, “The Other Wise Man” is my favorite story of the season. I read it almost every Christmas, and I always tear up at the end. It takes about 45 minutes to finish. Sometimes I read it while waiting for Christmas midnight Mass. (A wise family knows to show up about an hour early to be sure of a pew.)

Every few years a priest will base his sermon on “The Other Wise Man.” Unfortunately, he will call the story a legend. I have to restrain myself from screaming that it is no legend, but the creation of Henry van Dyke!

You can order a paper copy of “The Other Wise Man” from Amazon for a few bucks. But, rejoice, it’s available here on the Web for free, or you can download a version at Project Gutenberg to your Kindle. (Nowadays I use the Kindle app on my smart phone to read the story while in church.) Just be careful that you are not ordering “The Legend of the Fourth Wise Man,” a different book written in the 1980s.

And absolutely do not watch “The Fourth Wise Man,” an abominable television adaptation of Van Dyke’s story. For some reason the scriptwriter thought he needed to add comic relief by incorporating a servant not included in the original tale.

May you have a blessed Christmas. And may you, like Artaban, the Other Wise Man, find the King at last.

PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION OF “THE STORY OF THE OTHER WISE MAN”

It is now some five years since this little story was set afloat on the sea of books. It is not a man-of-war, nor even a high-sided merchantman; only a small, peaceful sailing-vessel. Yet it has had rather an adventurous voyage. Twice it has fallen into the hands of pirates. The tides have carried it to far countries. It has been passed through the translator’s port of entry into German, French, Armenian, Turkish, and perhaps some other foreign regions. Once I caught sight of it flying the outlandish flag of a brand-new phonetic language along the coasts of France; and once it was claimed by a dealer in antiquities as a long-lost legend of the Orient. Best of all, it has slipped quietly into many a far-away harbor that I have never seen and found a kindly welcome, and brought back messages of good cheer from unknown friends.

Now it has turned home to be new-rigged and fitted for further voyaging. Before it is sent out again I have been asked to tell where the story came from and what it means.

I do not know where it came fromؘ—out of the air, perhaps. One thing is certain, it is not written in any other book, nor is it to be found among the ancient lore of the East. And yet I have never felt as if it were my own. It was gift. It was sent to me; and it seemed as if I knew the Giver, though His name was not spoken.

The year had been full of sickness and sorrow. Every day brought trouble. Every night was tormented with pain. They are very long—those nights when one lies awake, and hears the laboring heart pumping wearily at its task, and watches for the morning, not knowing whether it will ever dawn. They are not nights of fear; tor the thought of death grows strangely familiar when you have lived with it for a year. Besides, after a time you come to feel like a soldier who has been long standing still under fire; any change would be a relief. But they are lonely nights; they are very heavy nights. And their heaviest burden is this:

You must face the thought that your work in the world may be almost ended, but you know that it is not nearly finished.

You have not solved the problems that perplexed you. You have not reached the goal that you aimed at. You have not accomplished the great task that you set for yourself. You are still on the way; and perhaps your journey must end now,—nowhere,—in the dark.

Well, it was in one of these long, lonely nights that this story came to me. I had studied and loved the curious tales of the Three Wise Men of the East as they are told in the “Golden Legend” of Jacobus de Voragine and other medieval books. But of the Fourth Wise Man I had never heard until that night. Then I saw him distinctly, moving through the shadows in a little circle of light. His countenance was as clear as the memory of my father’s face as I saw it for the last time a few months before. The narrative of his journeyings and trials and disappointments ran without a break. Even certain sentences came to me complete and unforgettable, clear-cut like a cameo. All that I had to do was to follow Artaban, step by step, as the tale went on, from the beginning to the end of his pilgrimage.

Perhaps this may explain some things in the story. I have been asked many times why I made the Fourth Wise Man tell a lie, in the cottage at Bethlehem, to save the little child’s life.

I did not make him tell a lie.

What Artaban said to the soldiers he said for himself, because he could not help it.

Is a lie ever justifiable? Perhaps not. But may it not sometimes seem inevitable?

And if it were a sin, might not a man confess it, and be pardoned for it more easily than for the greater sin of spiritual selfishness, or indifference, or the betrayal of innocent blood? That is what I saw Artaban do. That is what I heard him say. All through his life he was trying to do the best that he could. It was not perfect. But there are some kinds of failure that are better than success.

Though the story of the Fourth Wise Man came to me suddenly and without labor, there was a great deal of study and toil to be done before it could be written down. An idea arrives without effort; a form can only be wrought out by patient labor. If your story is worth telling, you ought to love it enough to be willing to work over it until it is true,—true, not only to the ideal, but true also to the real. The light is a gift; but the local color can only be seen by one who looks for it long and steadily. Artaban went with me while I toiled through a score of volumes of ancient history and travel. I saw his figure while I journeyed on the motionless sea of the desert and in the strange cities of the East.

And now that his story is told, what does it mean?

How can I tell? What does life mean? If the meaning could be put into a sentence there would be no need of telling the story.

Henry van Dyke.

Note: Punctuation style is from the original.

Traveling Through 2023

Although travel can be enervating, Mary Ellen and Bill seem to be flying, driving or sailing somewhere every other month or so despite being senior citizens. We are thankful that we are in good health, and despite Bill’s occasional bouts with sciatica, we can negotiate hills and steps. A few highlights for 2023:

Avalon waterfront

26 Miles Across the Sea

Because of the writers and actors strikes, Mary Ellen had only two studio teaching jobs this year. One involved a couple of days of shooting in Santa Catalina in February. Bill volunteered to accompany her. While she monitored her charge, Bill got a guided tour of the island conservancy by an old acquaintance, Ernie Rodriguez, a professional photographer Bill had hired many years ago while he was a publication editor for the Southern California Gas Company. Ernie, who lives in Avalon, still takes great photos, but he also is a ranger for the conservancy, which owns most of the island and strives to protect its native flora and fauna.

Cruising Along

Mary Ellen with Winston Churchill

In April we arrived exhausted late on the evening before our Celebrity Edge cruise was to leave Fort Lauderdale. Torrential rains bombarded eastern Florida and delayed our flight from LAX by several hours. Fortunately, fair weather greeted us on the day of embarkation. We had booked a two-week relocation cruise across the Atlantic. We lounged around reading, enjoying cocktails, and dining in some of the restaurants aboard the ship. Bill strode several thousand steps around the Edge’s track. Mary Ellen joined the ship’s guest choir, which entertained fellow passengers one night. We stopped in Bermuda and explored a cave. In Madeira we sampled its namesake wine and met Winston Churchill’s statue. We gawked at the stunning interior of the Granada cathedral. In Cartagena we explored the ruins of a Roman amphitheater and admired a castle in Palma de Mallorca. Our last stop was Barcelona. Unfortunately, we were unable to visit the Basilica of the Holy Family, but we partook of an al fresco lunch and walked around an outdoor market.

Mediterranean Highlights

Technically our next cruise began the same day we docked in Barcelona. We returned to Mallorca to enjoy a flamenco show, sitting right at the foot of the stage. In Marseilles we appreciated the beauty of the Palais Longchamp fountain and climbed to the stunning Basilica of Notre Dame de la Garde. Outside of Nice we struggled up the (in)famous Nietszche trail for a view of the harbor and then laboriously made our way down the mountain for a tour of a perfume factory. We were exhausted and decided to change some of our upcoming excursions to minimize hiking. In Genoa we visited the Romanesque Cathedral of St. Lawrence and photographed the alleged home of Christopher Columbus’s boyhood. In Portofino we lunched in a vineyard. We saw the Leaning Tower in Pisa and then took a boat ride on the Arno. In 2022 we road a bus to Taormina, Sicily, from Messina; this year we bused around Messina and stopped in the square of the Cathedral of St. Mary of the Assumption for the chiming of its astronomical clock, which features mechanically animated statues. Having walked through the ruins of Pompeii last year, we opted for a bus tour of Naples this year.

Several of our ports of call had statues of Columbus pointing the way to the New World. This one is in Genoa, his birthplace.

Rome on Our Own

Seagulls know that where there are tourists there is likely to be food—even in the Colosseum.

We debarked at the Port of Civitavecchia (aka Port of Rome) and took a limo to our Rome hotel, which was near the base of the Spanish Steps. The hotel’s reception desk was about three blocks from the room we reserved. The elevator required a special key and could only hold two people at a time. Naturally, our room was on the top (sixth) floor. At one point during our two-day stay, the elevator stopped working altogether. The stunning view from our room’s rooftop patio did not compensate for the inconvenience. Nevertheless (and in spite of intermittent showers), we had a good time in the Eternal City. As we did last year, we attended Saturday evening Mass at St. Peters. The following day we walked around the Colosseum as well as the ruins of the Forum. Mary Ellen threw a coin in the Trevi Fountain, and we saw the exterior of the Parthenon.

Michelangelo’s David is awesome.

Wonderful Florence

We boarded the Eurail to Florence, where we had an excellent room in the Plaza Hotel Lucchesi overlooking the Arno. Almost directly across the river was the Piazzale Michelangelo, which unfortunately we didn’t have time to visit. The highlight was the Galleria dell’Accademia, which hosts several works of Michelangelo, including David. Bill took numerous photographs. When we returned home, Bill ordered a T-shirt that features his photos showing the masterpiece’s full front and back. We also toured the Uffizi Gallery, Santa Croce church (where Michelangelo, Rossini, and other famous Forentines are entombed), the Piazza della Signoria, a leather factory, and the Baptistery of Saint John. On our first full day in Florence, we had lunch at a family restaurant one of our guides recommended. The meal was so good, we returned the following day. Bill regretted that we didn’t have time to eat at the Sophia Loren restaurant. Two days is not enough to enjoy all of Florence.

On to Venice

Our Eurail journey to Venice took a bit longer than scheduled as heavy rains in northern Italy caused delays. By the time we arrived in Venice, the rain had stopped, and we hopped onto a water taxi for Hotel Monaco on the Grand Canal. The following day we did a whirlwind tour of Venice, which included the Basilica San Marco, the Doges Palace and a leisurely gondola ride. The next day we left for home.

It’s the thing to do in Venice.

Paris Memories

Our Air France tickets had us transferring planes at Charles de Gaul airport. But our flight out of Marco Polo airport was delayed because of a security problem. This caused us to arrive at Charles de Gaul just as our next plane took off. Air France put us up in a third-class hotel, and we boarded a flight home the next morning.

Rest of the Year

Two weeks later Bill flew to Toronto for what will probably be his last IABC meeting. Beginning in the mid 1980s, Bill has been an officer in the Los Angeles chapter and on the boards of two regions of the International Association of Business Communicators. Although he is a life member, there’s little reason for him to be active in the association now that he is retired and no longer works in business communications.

Mary Ellen wanted to attend a family wedding and a 60th high school reunion in southern Indiana in August. Originally Bill was supposed to stay home but then we discovered that our daughter-in-law’s parents from India would be visiting her and our son in Pittsburgh for several weeks during August and September. As we had never met them, Bill accompanied Mary Ellen to Indiana and then after the reunion, we drove to Pittsburgh. While Ash (our daughter-in-law) speaks perfect English, we had some difficulty understanding her parents, but they are nice people. And we look forward to meeting them again in June, when we’ll be back in Pittsburgh for a few days to attend Will and Ash’s commitment ceremony. (They were married in a civil ceremony during the pandemic, but they wanted an event to which they could invite their friends.)

For our 42nd wedding anniversary in October, we drove up the coast to Monterey and enjoyed the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the best aquarium in the world. We also spent a couple of nights in Cambria, which was hosting its annual Halloween scarecrow contest. If you are ever in Cambria, we highly recommend dining at Linn’s.

Thankfully we are healthy and in good spirits. Our children and their spouses are doing well. Selena is a tax executive with Disney and her husband, Jake, is head of IT for a production company. Our granddaughter, Megan, is a delight. We enjoy watching her whenever her parents go on a date. Ash is a consultant to businesses undergoing reorganization. Son Will is not only an assistant professor of political science at the University of Pittsburgh but also a producer of a YouTube series that applies game theory to world crises. Check it out at https://www.youtube.com/@Gametheory101

We’ve already reserved two cruises for the new year. For most of April we’ll be on a Viking Danube excursion with additional days in Bucharest and Prague. In August we’ll visit the Norwegian fjords and spend some time in London and Bath, including a trip to Stonehenge.

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas and wish you all the best for the New Year!

–Bill & Mary Ellen Spaniel

The importance of peeing

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Why is the ceiling turning black? I asked myself. I had just gotten up from my cot to pee in a chamber pot. As I did, I stared up at the lit kerosene lamp suspended from a rafter. The unpainted wood above it was smoking. I finished my business and decided to go downstairs. Perhaps my father could answer my question.

The attic of the house had been turned into a dormitory for some 10 to 15 children. We were the offspring of various adults related to the old woman who lived there. They had gathered downstairs to celebrate something. I didn’t know what because many were speaking a language I didn’t understand.

I descended the stairs dressed in my muslin nightgown. I was careful to hold on to the railing, which was a bit high for a still sleepy 3-year-old. When I reached the bottom, I looked around the room for my parents. Everyone was drinking beer and having a good time. The chatter died down, and my daddy came over to take me back to bed. I asked him why the ceiling was turning black in the attic.

The men became agitated, and several ran up the stairs. My father left me with my mother, who was cradling my infant brother, Bob, and followed the other adults to the attic. When they returned, they thanked me for letting them know about the lamp. My dad carried me up the stairs by candlelight. As I drifted back to sleep, I noticed that a woman sat at the end of the room to watch over us. The kerosene lamp had been removed from the ceiling and placed on a table next to her.

More than 70 years later, I frequently get up at night to pee. My house is lit entirely by electric lightbulbs. My wife and I have never used kerosene and only have lit candles on birthday cakes. I sometimes wonder as I relieve myself what would have happened if I hadn’t looked up at the attic ceiling in my great grandmother’s house.

Park execs make poor impression at news conference

You would think that executives with major media companies would know how to present themselves during a Zoom news conference. Ain’t necessarily so.

On Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2020, the chief honchos with major Southern California theme parks appeared via Zoom in a joint news conference moderated by Erin Guerro, executive director of the California Attractions and Park Association. The theme park leaders were responding to California Governor’s Gavin Newson’s continuing shutdown of theme park operations, which affects thousands of jobs both within those parks and outside, including hotels, restaurants, and souvenir shops. The leaders weren’t happy with the situation and tried to make a persuasive case as to why theme parks should re-open despite the Covid-19 pandemic.

I think they made some good arguments. But here I’m not focusing on how well they spoke or the reasons they listed. Rather, my focus is on how they appeared on Zoom.

Two of the participants, Karen Irwin, Universal Studios Hollywood president, and Ken Potrock, Disneyland Resorts president, are executives with two of the world’s largest media companies. These companies are in the business of making their attractions enticing. Yet Irwin’s and Potrock’s onscreen appearances lacked any wow factor. Likewise, the other two participants, Raffi Kaprelyan, vice president and general manager of Knott’s Berry Farm, and Kurt Stocks, Legoland president, failed to provide a visually appealing presence.

So what did they do wrong?

Backgrounds

First and foremost, they didn’t use virtual backgrounds—or, if they did, they didn’t use good ones. Greenscreens are cheap and aren’t difficult to set up. I have one that I use on my Zoom calls. But Irwin, Potrock, and Kaprelyan either didn’t have greenscreens, didn’t have time (a minute or two!) to set theirs up, or didn’t know how to use them. For an important news conference like this one, you would think they would have a decent park photo, a video of people enjoying their attractions, or at least a company logo in the background. Nope. Instead we see their home or corporate offices (more about that in a bit).

Stocks and Guerro, however, did have virtual backgrounds. But Guerro’s was a small version of the CAPA’s logo that was barely legible on a computer monitor. (And with all the money that theme parks pay into their industry association, you would think they could come up with a better logo.) As for Stocks, he actually had a background that showed some Legoland attractions. Yet the background had a blue cast to it that gave it a sickly appearance. Furthermore, the background obviously had not been generated via greenscreen as a nebulous object occasionally popped from his head.

Backlighting

I’m amazed that Kaprelyan and Irwin were so poorly lit. Didn’t anyone advise them to make sure they were lit from the front rather than the back? Kaprelyan’s face is almost totally in the dark. And the left side of the moderator’s face is in shadow.

Poor camera angles

The camera on Kaprelyan is at a low angle looking up. It’s especially noticeable because he is in a corner office and the background is therefore at an odd angle. He also appears to have a black pole, perhaps a painted line, emerging from his head. The camera on Potrock, too, could have been better positioned. And what’s with the vertical shot of Irwin? She appears smaller than the others, who are all in horizontal format.

Lack of branding

As noted above, a Zoom press conference should be the perfect place to show off your park or logo via greenscreen. But Potrock, Irwin and Kaprlyan don’t have any Disney, Universal Studios or Knott’s photos or logos as background. The three of them obviously are in offices, whether at home or in their regular work locations, and none of them bespeaks his or her organization. Only Guerro and Stocks have branded backgrounds.

Regardless of your views, getting California theme parks back in business is vital to the state’s economy—especially those people who depend on the parks for their livelihood. I only wish the park executives participating in the news conference had made a better visual presentation. They should have consulted their public relations or corporate communications department for guidance on how to present themselves. And if they did, then apparently they did not get good advice—or chose not to follow it.

Why we should celebrate Columbus Day

Although he thought he had landed in India, Columbus discovered a new world. You may correctly say that the North American continent already had been discovered by the natives living there. But those natives were not aware of other civilizations existing more than 3,000 miles away. Indeed, they didn’t even have the means to find other continents—whether Europe or Asia. They lacked the technology to build large, ocean-going ships.

Learned Europeans knew the planet was round. Ships already had sailed around Africa and visited India. Logically sailing westward from Europe would likely result in eventual landing somewhere near India. If Columbus hadn’t done it, someone else would have within a few years. (Portuguese Jorge Álvares is the first European to sail to China in 1513 via the Atlantic and Indian oceans. Regardless, land trade between China and Europe had been going on for thousands of years.)

So Columbus did an important thing and deserves to be honored for it.

But you may object to honoring Columbus because he and his fellow Europeans brought disease, slavery, spoilage of a pristine environment, and conquest of peace-loving indigenous people. But Native Americans (and note that “American” is a term than honors another European) aren’t the peace-loving, environmentalist, slaveless, and disease-free people that revisionists would like us to believe.

Diseases

Yes, smallpox, measles, chickenpox, mumps and other diseases came along with the Spanish, Portuguese, French, and English when they landed in the New World. The natives had no immunity to these viruses, and, unfortunately, millions died. But the Europeans had no intent to kill with these diseases. In fact, they had yet to figure out what caused them.

On the other hand, native Americans had tuberculosis and syphilis—diseases unknown in Europe. When European visitors to North and South America returned to Europe, they unknowingly took along those illnesses, which killed millions on that continent—maybe not to the extent of those in the New World who died because of European disease, but still neither side transferred diseases on purpose.

Slavery

Most of us either have at least one slave ancestor or are descended from people that owned slaves. Virtually all cultures—including Native Americans—had slaves at one time or another. Certainly we know the Aztecs had slaves, who were conquered people not put in the human-sacrifice line (see below). In the area that eventually became the United States, tribes such as the Iroquois practiced a form of slavery that in some instances allowed for the slave or his children to become full-fledged members of the tribe.

Slavery among Native Americans may not have been as cruel as the slavery practiced by Europeans who settled the New World. Nevertheless, Native Americans don’t get a pass on this. We can safely assume if Native Americans had invaded Europe, they would have enslaved those they conquered.

Environmentalists

Contrary to John Wayne movies and weeping-Indian commercials, most Native Americans were not hunter-gatherers. Indians lived in stable communities, such as the pueblos of southwestern Colorado. Mexico, Central America and South America had great cities peopled by the Aztecs, Mayans and Incas, among others. At the time Cortes entered Tenochtitlan (present-day Mexico City), the Aztec capital was larger than the greatest European city, Paris, and probably had better sanitation.

In the northeastern United States, pre-Columbian Indians burnt forests to control vegetation and to create farmland. In Bolivia, natives essentially established fish farms.

Great Plains Indians, who were hunter-gatherers, set fire to the prairie to extend the range of bison, their principal source of meat. Prior to the introductions of the horse and rifle, Indians killed bison by forcing them to stampede over cliffs.

North America likely had more bison after the arrival of the first Europeans than before. European diseases (see above) killed so many Indians that bison could roam relatively unthreatened by humans until white settlers arrived from the nascent United States.

Domestication of plant and animals is the ultimate way of controlling living things. Native Americans gave the world major staples such as the potato, tomato, and maize (corn). They also had domesticated the dog, turkey, and llama.

The point is that Indians weren’t so much concerned with protecting their environment, as weeping-Indian commercials would have us believe; rather, they were involved in shaping their environment to suit their needs.

North and South America weren’t pristine gardens of Eden prior to the arrival of Europeans. Like people on other continents, Indians used the land to feed and clothe themselves. And note that scientists posit that humans—the direct ancestors of Native Americans—partially are responsible for the extinction of the wooly mammoth and the mastodon.

Peace-lovers

Humans naturally will fight to protect themselves and their loved-ones. When Europeans came to the New World in large numbers, Indians fought to retain their lands. There are those who would have us believe that most Indians were peaceful and did not make war until the white man showed up, however. This is patently not true.

Indian tribes clashed for hundreds of years. The Aztecs subjugated other native groups to obtain slaves and victims to sacrifice to their gods. Native Americans in both North and South America sometimes practiced cannibalism on their enemies. The Delawares had gruesome tortures for those they captured.

Indians of the Great Plains battled over territory. Some tribes encouraged their young men to show their dedication to warring on behalf of the group by having their chests pierced and their bodies suspended.

Two Holidays

All of the above is meant to show that neither Europeans nor the indigenous people of the Americas were perfect people. To blame Columbus for the decimation of the Indian population of the New World and the hardships they have suffered since 1492 is to not acknowledge that history is complicated.

By honoring Columbus, we are not dishonoring Native Americans. They had a right to defend themselves when the Europeans arrived. And overall, they were treated badly by the white man.

Yet Native Americans/Indians/Indigenous People—despite advances like farm management and large cities—were not as advanced as Europeans in those things that ultimately would matter (firearms and sailing, for example). And they especially had no defense against diseases for which they had no immunity.

It’s inevitable that more advanced cultures will eventually conquer those less advanced. Had Native Americans “discovered” Europe, and not the other way around, we could be celebrating Wahunsenacawh Day today.

Native Americans have every right for a day commemorating their people. I don’t think we should obliterate Columbus Day to do that, however. Pick another day for Indigenous People Day.

Are you a one- or two-space person?

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In my career as a writer and editor, I have found that there are two kinds of people in this world: those that put two spaces after a period and those that put only one. I am of the one-space persuasion (which is the standard in the publishing industry).

Why should you put only one space after periods and all other punctuation for that matter? Well, the spacing after a period can affect the “look” of a document. And proper formatting of a document is often as important as the document’s contents—sometimes, even more so.

Typing anachronism

The practice of typing two spaces after a period is an anachronism. It should be tossed out with the typewriter, which was the reason for the two-space policy in the first place.

Typewriters have keys on which the letters are all the same width. The I is the same width as the M, for example. Clearly to anyone with a good eye, an I should be much slimmer than an M. But if the width of each letter was proportional to its ideal width on a typewriter, the keys would be of various widths.

Typewriter manufacturers discovered that if they made all the letters proportional to their ideal widths, the resulting keys would stick together during the typing process. So they made all the keys the same width, and, thus, all the letters were nonproportional to their natural widths. Furthermore, the spaces between the letters all have the same width as the letters. Courier is the standard nonproportional face for typewriters.


Proportional faces

The practice of putting two spaces after a period in this day of proportional typefaces is no longer necessary for a good reason: The designers of proportional faces are true artists. They carefully design into each face the best amount of space for each letter, punctuation mark, and space.

The faces look best with only one space between each word and after each period. Putting additional space after a period not only throws off the balance designed into each face but also leads to rivers of white—vacant space that runs like a river through a paragraph and draws the eye’s attention to it.

Because writers primarily use word processing programs like MS Word that default automatically to a proportional typeface, such as Arial, they should follow the one-space rule. (The one-space rule is endorsed by Chicago, MLA, APA, and Associated Press style guides.)

The complaint that it is difficult to overcome a habit of years does not wash. I double-spaced on a typewriter for years and quickly changed to one space in a day or two once I got my first word processor.

In any case, there is an easy way writers who will not change and their publishers who stipulate one space after a period. The writer can simply type two spaces after every period and then, prior to turning in his or her copy, use the word processor’s find and replace features to automatically substitute one space for each two.

A Dumpster Yields a Gem

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One of my most prized possessions is a small, well-worn book bound in faded blue cardboard. Four-inches wide by six-and-a-half inches tall, the book hides between more massive tomes in my shelves. Sometimes it takes me a while to find it, but every Christmas I seek it out.

I’ve owned this book for more than 50 years. It has followed me from Colorado to Missouri to Michigan to Nevada (where my parents stored my possessions while I served for three-and-a-half years in the Army) to Georgia back to Nevada and then to California. The book itself is much older as it was published in 1899 and is the slightly revised version of the original, which was printed in 1895.

If memory serves, I found the book in a dumpster.

When I was in high school in Golden, Colorado, I worked part-time for the Jefferson County Library. In my junior year, I was a bookmobile assistant, riding county back roads to bring books to those living in small mountain communities. In my senior year I drove a station wagon and delivered books to various local libraries in the system.

Discovering two treasures

Returning to the main library one summer day after completing deliveries, I learned from a librarian that they were getting rid of books no longer needed. If I wanted any, I could fish them out of the dumpster in the back.

I discovered two treasures: one was the second volume of the memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant, the second was the little book.

I’ve long lost the Grant book. I’ve no regrets, however, as it was the fourth or so printing and had no commercial value. And I never read Grant’s war chronicles until five years ago, and then I read the Kindle version of the complete memoirs.

But the little book immediately attracted me. Its title and author’s name are debossed on the cover in faux gold leaf. Stamped on the flyleaf in blue are the words “Property of The West Alameda Federated Club.” The same words appear on the back inside cover.

A black-and-white drawing facing the title page shows a young woman cradling an old, bearded man slumped against a wall. Then comes the title page with italic blue letters:

The Story of the Other Wise Man

By Henry van Dyke  

A Presbyterian minister and United States diplomat, Van Dyke (1852–1933) wrote stories and poems as well as the lyrics to “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee” set to “Ode to Joy” from Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. But his greatest legacy, in my opinion, is “The Other Wise Man”—at 73 pages a masterpiece.

Briefly Van Dyke’s tale relates how a fourth Magi planned to give three jewels to the child Jesus. Unfortunately, he just missed meeting the Holy Family (who were escaping to Egypt as Herod’s soldiers were descending on Bethlehem). He spent the rest of his life searching for the King. Finally, he saw the Savior on His way to Calvary and tried to save Him.

Van Dyke tinkered with the story over the years, making a few minor changes in wording. My copy is the second version, and I believe there is a third. To my knowledge, the second version is the only one that comes with a preface (see below), which is worth reading on its own.

Next to Mathew’s account of the birth of Christ and the visitors from the East, “The Other Wise Man” is my favorite story of the season. I read it almost every Christmas, and I always tear up at the end. It takes about 45 minutes to finish. Sometimes I read it while waiting for Christmas midnight Mass. (A wise family knows to show up about an hour early to be sure of a pew.)

Every few years a priest will base his sermon on “The Other Wise Man.” Unfortunately, he will call the story a legend. I have to restrain myself from screaming that it is no legend, but the creation of Henry van Dyke!

Order your own copy

You can order a paper copy of “The Other Wise Man” from Amazon for a few bucks. But, rejoice, it’s available here on the Web for free, or you can download a version at Project Gutenberg to your Kindle. (Nowadays I use the Kindle app on my smart phone to read the story while in church.) Just be careful that you are not ordering “The Legend of the Fourth Wise Man,” a different book written in the 1980s.

And absolutely do not watch “The Fourth Wise Man,” an abominable television adaptation of Van Dyke’s story. For some reason the scriptwriter thought he needed to add comic relief by incorporating a servant not included in the original tale.

May you have a blessed Christmas. And may you like Artaban, the Other Wise Man, find the King at last.

Second edition preface

It is now some five years since this little story was set afloat on the sea of books. It is not a man-of-war, nor even a high-sided merchantman; only a small, peaceful sailing-vessel. Yet it has had rather an adventurous voyage. Twice it has fallen into the hands of pirates. The tides have carried it to far countries. It has been passed through the translator’s port of entry into German, French, Armenian, Turkish, and perhaps some other foreign regions. Once I caught sight of it flying the outlandish flag of a brand-new phonetic language along the coasts of France; and once it was claimed by a dealer in antiquities as along-lost legend of the Orient. Best of all, it has slipped quietly into many a far-away harbor that I have never seen and found a kindly welcome, and brought back messages of good cheer from unknown friends.

Now it has turned home to be new-rigged and fitted for further voyaging. Before it is sent out again I have been asked to tell where the story came from and what it means.

I do not know where it came fromؘ—out of the air, perhaps. One thing is certain, it is not written in any other book, nor is it to be found among the ancient lore of the East. And yet I have never felt as if it were my own. It was gift. It was sent to me; and it seemed as if I knew the Giver, though His name was not spoken.

The year had been full of sickness and sorrow. Every day brought trouble. Every night was tormented with pain. They are very long—those nights when one lies awake, and hears the laboring heart pumping wearily at its task, and watches for the morning, not knowing whether it will ever dawn. They are not nights of fear; tor the thought of death grows strangely familiar when you have lived with it for a year. Besides, after a time you come to feel like a soldier who has been long standing still under fire; any change would be a relief. But they are lonely nights; they are very heavy nights. And their heaviest burden is this:

You must face the thought that your work in the world may be almost ended, but you know that it is not nearly finished.

You have not solved the problems that perplexed you. You have not reached the goal that you aimed at. You have not accomplished the great task that you set for yourself. You are still on the way; and perhaps your journey must end now,—nowhere,—in the dark.

Well, it was in one of these long, lonely nights that this story came to me. I had studied and loved the curious tales of the Three Wise Men of the East as they are told in the “Golden Legend” of Jacobus de Voragine and other mediaeval books. But of the Fourth Wise Man I had never heard until that night. Then I saw him distinctly, moving through the shadows in a little circle of light. His countenance was a clear as the memory of my father’s face as I saw it for the last time a few months before. The narrative of his journeyings and trials and disappointments ran without a break. Even certain sentences came to me complete and unforgettable, clear-cut like a cameo. All that I had to do was to follow Artaban, step by step, as the tale went on, from the beginning to the end of his pilgrimage.

Perhaps this may explain some things in the story. I have been asked many times why I made the Fourth Wise Man tell a lie, in the cottage at Bethlehem, to save the little child’s life.

I did not make him tell a lie.

What Artaban said to the soldiers he said for himself, because he could not help it.

Is a lie ever justifiable? Perhaps not. But may it not sometimes seem inevitable?

And if it were a sin, might not a man confess it, and be pardoned for it more easily than for the greater sin of spiritual selfishness, or indifference, or the betrayal of innocent blood? That is what I saw Artaban do. That is what I heard him say. All through his life he was trying to do the best that he could. It was not perfect. But there are some kinds of failure that are better than success.

Though the story of the Fourth Wise Man came to me suddenly and without labor, there was a great deal of study and toil to be done before it could be written down. An idea arrives without effort; a form can only be wrought out by patient labor. If your story is worth telling, you ought to love it enough to be willing to work over it until it is true,—true, not only to the ideal, but true also to the real. The light is a gift; but the local color can only be seen by one who looks for it long and steadily. Artaban went with me while I toiled through a score of volumes of ancient history and travel. I saw his figure while I journeyed on the motionless sea of the desert and in the strange cities of the East.

And now that his story is told, what does it mean?

How can I tell? What does life mean? If the meaning could be put into a sentence there would be no need of telling the story.

Henry van Dyke.

Note: Punctuation style is from the original.

Watch Out for Demonyms This Halloween

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They Are All over the Place

You don’t have to wait until Halloween to spot demonyms. The word doesn’t mean small devils. It’s the term for words that describe people from a particular place.

For example, what do you call people from Indiana? Well, if you live with an Indiana native, as I do, you learn that you call them Hoosiers because that’s how people from South Bend to New Albany (my wife’s hometown) label themselves.

Most demonyms in the English language have obvious constructions. Depending on how the place name ends—either with a vowel or a consonant—you can usually add an “n” (Alaskan, Nebraskan) or an “ian” (Michiganian, Washingtonian). Yet there are numerous variations and inconsistencies that preclude an absolute rule. For example, an Orlandoan (an Orlando resident) is not a Floridan but a Floridian, and someone from Baltimore (Baltimorean) is a Marylander, not a Marylandian.

And what’s the demonym for Massachusetts residents? Massachusettsan? Massachusettsian? Massachusite? A Wikipedia article on state demonyms notes that all of those words have described someone from the Bay State. In fact, by Massachusetts law “Bay Staters shall be the official designation of citizens of the commonwealth.” (As Massachusetts is technically a commonwealth, why aren’t its residents Bay Commonwealthiers?)

Islanders and Yinzers

Like Massachusetts, residents of other states may boost names other than standard demonyms to refer to themselves. Nebraskans are Cornhuskers; Iowans Hawkeyes; Wisconsinites Cheeseheads (no explanation needed for anyone who lives in or has visited the state).

If your home is in Hawaii, you are not a Hawaiian unless you are descended from the original Polynesian settlers. Everyone else is an Islander or a Hawaii resident. Locals also might say Kamaʻāina, a Hawaiian word to denote anyone from the islands regardless of their background.

My son, the man in the white shirt, lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the home of Yinzers. This is a picture of the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela rivers to form the Ohio.

As noted above, states may have several terms for their residents. What about cities in those states? My son is a native Californian born in Santa Clarita (a Santa Claritan). But for the past three years he has worked in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and proudly calls himself a Yinzer, which supposedly is derived from yunz, Scotch-Irish for you. (Scotch-Irish immigrants fed the steel mills of the City of Bridges.)

Soos and Yoopers

Residents of Marquette, Michigan, are Yoopers, the term for people living in the Upper Peninsula of the Wolverine state.

Apparently people from Durango, Colorado, can’t make up their minds if they are Durangoans, Durangotans or Durangotangs, the latter of which sounds like a New World primate.

“Ite” pops up as a suffix for residents of the Mile High City (Denverites). Raleighites designates those living in North Carolina’s capital. Casperites are also Wyomingites.

Salt Lakers claim Salt Lake City as home. Neighbors in Sault Ste. Marie hail each other as Soos (as well as Yoopers).

Knickerbocker, meaning a style of pants in Dutch and derived from a pseudonym of storyteller Washington Irving, once referred to residents of the Isle of Manhattan but has long gone out of style.

Who Is an American?

We in the United States refer to ourselves as Americans because our nation’s official name is the United States of America. Yet anyone living on the two American continents has a perfect right to the demonym American.

Outside of the U.S. Yank usually means someone from the United States. To people living in the southern United States, however, a Yank, or Yankee, is any resident of a state north of the Ohio River and east of the Mississippi River.

More precisely, a Yankee refers to a resident of the New England states: Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont. So why does New York City have a baseball team named the Yankees? Supposedly the word Yankee is a combination of the Dutch names Jan (John) and Kees (Cornelis), which often were paired together. The Dutch founded New Amsterdam, which became New York when the British took over.

Meaning of Hoosier

It should be obvious by now that assuming what the demonym is for a city or state can get you in trouble if you guess wrong. Wikipedia has several articles, however, that provide lists of standard demonyms. If the word you are looking for isn’t on one of them, it is always safe to refer to someone as a resident of a specific geographic area.

Getting back to Hoosier, I’m not sure why those living in the state of Indiana so fiercely defend that word as their moniker. According to Colin Woodard in “American Nations,” Hoosier is “a Southern slang term for a frontier hick.” That is somewhat confirmed by information posted on the website of the Indiana Historical Bureau, although it offers other plausible theories.

Regardless, thanks to the joint effort of former Indiana senators Joe Donnelly (D) and Dan Coats (R), the federal Government Printing Office style guide rules that Hoosier will exclusively refer to someone from the 19th state.

Bill Spaniel, ABC, is an Erieite and a Pennsylvanian by birth.

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